In the past few days, two long-time students told me that Sharath still does not know their names. One is among the most advanced students in the shala. Neither seemed particularly bothered, but I have nothing else I feel like writing about. So in case any of you are concerned that Sharath does not know your name, and if you wish to solve the problem without waiting to achieve samadhi or nirvana, here is a proven method:
1. Show up for class with last night's vodka coming out of your pores instead of sweat.
2. Exhibit a truly retarded physical practice, preferably on the stage during led class.
3. Be notoriously gay.
4. Tell Sharath that with his new beard, he looks like a terrorist.
5. Keep coming back every year, but don't just come back. Gain 30 pounds before you do, so that Sharath has to start all over, congratulating you yet again on binding in Marichyasana A.
6. Each time you come back, have a motorcycle accident without a helmet, so that you can walk into the shala with a bloody bandage wrapped around your head.
7. Ask Sharath if you can post a flyer for Alcoholics Anonymous on the official AYRI bulletin board.
8. Skip classes. Lots of them. This is the point where you will really start to see results. As in "John, you not in class yesterday. Why not?"
You may not need to follow all of these steps. But I can tell you that they are guaranteed to work. This year I'm for the most part a goody-two-shoes, but that's okay, now that Sharath already knows my name.