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February 09, 2005

Comments

padma

Dear Russell:

I can feel your pain in the path to peace and happiness. I shared similar pains last year, a depression and sorrow so deep that it shrouds me in its dark wings, never taking flight. Anti-depressant didn't help at all. May I suggest that you try to single-mindedly fall in love with the true God, in the sense of love and truth, and seek this ideal consciously? Somehow, this got me through the darkest days, and make me better able to see the connection between me and the world. Gandhi's life also helped tremendously.

Hope you get well. Padma

Jamie

Happened upon your blog and was happy to see photos of places (and a few faces) I haven't seen since leaving India last February 2004. Thanks for taking the time to put it online. Curious to read about a lawyer in Mysore. I'm presently wrestling with the decision to pursue law school and have been afraid it would mean no more time in India. Maybe there are greater possibilities then what I imagine.

Sounds like you are going through a rough spot. Sorry to hear it. Yours in the practice.

Julie Desjardins

What a beautiful quote from that Hermann Hesse book! I read a book by him back in college, and it was one of those few college books that I actually thought were great... I'll try to get my hands on a copy!

We all have our own obstacles to happiness. What matters is that we are doing *something* to try to overcome them. Don't give up!

Joey

Hey Russell...I don't have anything profound to say but "Blog War" aside, I'm always in your side. I wish you only the best and hope you get through this. Don't worry about anything...don't beat yourself up...just enjoy life...

See you later this year...

Natasha

Hi, Russell,
I only know you through your blog, but it is so personal and profound, funny and detailed, that I feel I have gotten to know you personally. I felt that something was up when you did not write meaningfully for a while. I have absolutely no words of wisdom or advice for you. But I do want you to know that your blog has really touched me, and I suspect others. You are affecting other people, strangers, even, in beautiful ways. If happiness can be found in service, which I know from very minor personal experience that it can, then perhaps there is a path there--you are doing service just through this blog. I know that I am rooting for you as I know many others are. Relax and be kind to yourself. That is the lesson that I am having to learn right now. Esp. those of us who are drawn to the law, we are so driven, we push and push ourselves, and we get fantastic results, but we don't always nurture ourselves, and we are not always kind to ourselves. I, too, beat myself up with food and alcohol and other excesses--now, as I recover from yoga-inflicted injuries, I've had to learn to take it easy, take warm baths and speak lovingly to myself. I was shocked when I realized how mean I was being to myself when I first discovered my injuries, I criticized and beat myself up, which led to other forms of self punishment. Rambling here. But, I just want you to know, that from half way around the world, and from a total stranger but fellow ashtangi lawyer, I send you heart-felt love and kind thoughts. Russell, be nice to Russell!

Eugene

HI Russel,
I totally agree with you on the fact that we should not have any expectations in our practice. This happened to me when I was trying very hard but stalled progress for 6 months. As soon as I let go and turn the attention to the breath, the quality of the practice improves immensely.
I can see you are struggling with things. We all are, some more serious than others. Fear is the cause of the struggle. Struggle means not letting go. If we let go of fear, then we can let go our struggle.
Lao Tszu said that a sage manages affairs without actions. From what I understand, only through non-action can action be achieved and non-expectation that a goal can be reached.
Hope this is not too philosophical, I don't mean to.

good luck

Lionel

It's good that you are writing all of this out. Don't stop. I think it will help you in your recovery. Keep up your practice. If you take care of yoga, yoga will take care of you. If you liked Hesse's book, you should pick up the Baghavad Gita. There are lots of good translations into English. It will give you strength.
peace

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