Welcome Back, Anonymous

It's been said that life's a bitch, and then you die. But it seems that the bitchiest things in life are opportunities to practice one or more of the eight limbs of ashtanga.  I was about to leave for my weekly sangha (group meditation) in Waynesville the other day, and pick up my friend Sara, who needed a ride there, when an email arrived from Delaware, announcing that one of the exhibits was missing from a court filing by our firm that was due that day.  Damn.  How many times have I told myself that meditation is the shit (as somebody else once said), and that I should put it above all else?  After all, scholars say that hatha yoga was invented simply as an aid to meditation.  I think physical yoga exists only because meditators five thousand years ago, like those today, had sore knees. 

So what happens when you have conflicting obligations, and both are important?  What happens when your obligation to yourself, and to your conception of divinity, conflicts with your obligation to a client who is counting on you, and paying you, to do your job?  I decided to be a half hour late for sangha, and a half hour late in picking up my friend.  I felt like a workaholic, type-A asshole.  It was only in the car, talking with Sara, that I realized there was no conflict.  Instead it was an opportunity to call Sara and some other friends that I always want to impress, and confess to them once again that I am not perfect, and that I need their forgiveness.  At the sangha, during the sharing after the meditation, Jackie the host confessed that she has been compulsively angry with people in her life who have been late, that this was the first time she was able to let it go of it, and that this was a liberating experience.

It reminded me, in a strange way, of situations with bitter courtroom adversaries, when one of us screws up and needs a break from the other.  Whether you are the confessor and requester, or the listener and giver, it is always a wonderful moment.   It is then that we catch a brief glimpse of the fact that we are not separate. 

Speaking of adversaries, I was glad to see another comment from Anonymous, who I guess is still reading this blog.  He (i'm convinced that Anonymous is male) took the time to mention how "you are SO full of yourself," and "you are missing the fundamental truth of yoga," and "you are still a drunk."  I love Anonymous.  He is right that I am full of myself, and that i still drink.  As for the fundamental truth of yoga, I am glad that it is still out there for me to learn, because the little that I have learned so far has been pretty nice.  I only wish Anonymous would email me, so we could chat.  Hey Anonymous, if you won't email me, would you please tell us what is the fundamental truth of yoga?

Comments

[Julie]

Hi Russell, glad to see you blogging again and sounding healthy. I'm still fascinated by your area of law... one I've not touched yet. When I have a work emergency (and I'd consider the potential of a booted filing an emergency myself), that's what I take care of (not to mention that a significant booted filing could result in malpractice ;>). When my kids have something that has to happen, that's what I take care of.

[lulu]

Russell,
I was so enjoying your blog. What happened??? Are you going back to Mysore anytime soon? Write more!!!
lulu