In four days, I'll be picking a jury in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. What does this have to do with ashtanga? In a way, everything. In preparing for trial the last couple of months, my practice fell apart. I learned a lot from that. Does depression lead to a lack of practice, or does a lack of practice lead to depression? I don't know the answer to that, but I suspect it is yes to both questions. What I have learned is that without my practice, and my meditation, I am lost. I'd like to think my gurus are Sri K Pattabhi Jois and Sharath Rangaswamy, but in a way, my guru now is United States District Judge Laura Taylor Swain. By setting the trial early, she has become my personal trainer. Without my practice, I know I cannot do this job. I tried to do it without ashtanga, and I degenerated so rapidly that it scared me. So I am back to the mat again in earnest. Even though I am no more superficially "advanced" than I was before I spent 9 months in Mysore, I can tell that I am more "advanced" in ways that matter. I do each pose as if it is the only pose. For an hour and a half or so, I forget about who needs to be subpoenaed, or how we will get Exhibit K or W into evidence. Through practice, I remember that life is not good or bad based on winning or losing a trial.
So I am going to call this trial an ashtanga trial. I wonder if I will be the first attorney to be practising ashtanga every day during the stresses of trying a case in front of a jury. I doubt it. But in any event, I have a feeling that no matter what happens, ashtanga will win. In a flash of insight during practice, I realized that the worst possible scenario is that I get stage fright and lose the case. So what? This is not a case about life or death. It's all about money. I am more likely to win with a steady practice, but if we lose, then the universe and I will be just fine.
On another note, I get a laugh from the fact that this blog has become an epicenter for Indian gay boys who want to hook up. At first I deleted the deluge of personal ads about dick size in the form of "comments." But then I got lazy and just let all of the "comments" go on. Now there are over a hundred "comments" from gays in nearly every state of India, asking for sex from just about anyone reading. To amuse myself, I did a Google search using the terms "gay" and "mysore." The first result was a link to this blog, followed by other links to it. I think it is funny that this little journal of my trips to Mysore has become a part of Indian culture, or counter-culture. Hey gay boys, have fun!
Hey Russell, did you know that your atom feed is no longer working? :)
Good luck on your trial!
Posted by: Julie | September 09, 2005 at 08:06 PM
What a coincidence! I also have a jury trial starting Monday. I doubt that i will try to practice every day like you, but you are not the only ashtangi lawyer going into a jury trial. My trial is also about money and I just refuse to work myself into a stress meltdown about it. Good luck with yours.
Posted by: susan | September 10, 2005 at 06:37 PM